Introverts Deserve Trophies

My daughter turned 7 this month.

She had her first real birthday party

at our house

…with people.

Five mini humans to be exact.

It was a lot.

It was

next level.

As an introvert

I’m used to being thrown into situations

without warning.

Like when small talk comes at me

from a corner of the grocery store

unexpectedly.

But it’s completely different

when there’s ample time

to anticipate.

Oof.

Half the battle is in the anticipation.

Will the kids get along?

Will everyone be entertained?

Will the time go quickly or slow as hell?

What do I say to the parents 

during that 30-60 seconds of airtime 

(which is nothing short of an eternity) 

as they drop them off?

The other half is the carefully crafted

confident

assertive

calm

version of myself

that I create in my mind

to show up and take the reins for the day

…but she never does.

Or maybe I do put on a pretty good show?

But on the inside

it just feels like I’m slowly dying.

And then eventually everyone leaves

and it feels sooooo good

but also like I’m just fresh in recovery

after being hit

by a giant

transport truck.

Anyways

you fellow introverts deserve some damn trophies.

And extra rewards

for the ones who are also naturally sprinkled

with shyness

anxiety

overthinking

and some self-consciousness

for good measure.

It’s tough out there

living this thing called life.

Sincerely,

Extremely dry, fried, burnt toast