I’ve been working on myself for a very long time now and it’s no easy task. Uncovering, processing, and working through old wounds and very tender emotions – ones that were never truly expressed or felt in the way that they needed to be at the time – has been extremely difficult.
At times it’s been too hard – too hard to dig it all up and relive and re-feel it all – and I’ve just wanted to give up. But I haven’t. Because in addition to a great therapist who I’ve had the pleasure of working with for the past two years, I’ve also got the best confidant, the best supporter, and the best cheerleader I could ever ask for; I’ve got my Mom.
It’s been challenging to figure out not only how I truly felt/feel, but to also finally find my voice, and to learn how to verbalize and explain the things and dynamics that were so complicated and complex. Yet, at the same time, it’s been pretty easy too. Because even when it’s something about my Mom, she still encourages me to say it.
Even when my voice quivers and I struggle to find the right words, she patiently waits. Even when I hesitate because I don’t know how to say it nicely, she pushes me to just spit it out. And even when I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she tells me that I can, and that I should. She says six, simple, beautiful words that have made and continue to make all the difference: “Tell me, I can take it.”
Because she knows how crucial it is to be able to speak your truth. She knows that expressing yourself and receiving proper validation, is not only important but imperative. She knows that even if there were things she could have done differently, she also tried her absolute best. And she knows that in order to keep being a great Mom – because she’s always been one – she needs to stay open and grow with me; even when it’s hard, and even when she feels like giving up.
To my Mom, my forever emotional compass, you’re willingness and ability to see what I need, and be there to hear and understand it, is incomparable. Thank you for continuing to extend yourself for me, day in and day out. And thank you for granting me the space and capacity within myself, so that I can do the same for my kids. Whether it be a long, momentous, deep breath, an exquisitely placed necessary moment of pause, or those same six, simple, beautiful words – you’ve made it all easier, and I’m incredibly grateful for that.
Taylor Carr, Writer - Colour For Your Thoughts 
My mother was my best friend and I lost her when I needed her the most. A Great mom has to be so much, a cheer leader a disciplinarian a friend a role model helping us find ourselves all the while still sometimes tyring to find themselves as well. Still trying to figure it out . Touching peice. Continue to loveand cherish her.
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“All the while trying to find themselves, too” – so true! Being a Mom is such an incredibly hard thing to juggle. Thank you for this Bria, and so sorry you didn’t have more time with your Mom. Hopefully you still find ways to connect with her.
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In my opinion, this is one of the best (or, the best?) pieces you have written. It was like every word choice, phrase and sentence were perfectly chosen and constructed to describe the impact of your Mom and those words. This was expertly written!
I am so privileged to have witnessed some moments between you and your Mom, where she was doing what you described. I can picture all of this so easily – her patience, especially, and the way she nurtures someone through a conversation, pausing and really listening, and showing such genuine care, like she has all the time in the world for this one moment.
This was a joy to read!
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Thanks so much, Tess! Really glad you liked it. I cried when I was writing it so I know the words and phrases were coming from a very deep place. Yes exactly. All the time in the world for that one single moment!
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Thanks so much, Tess! Really glad you liked it. I cried when I was writing it so I know the words and phrases were coming from a very deep place. Yes exactly. All the time in the world for that one single moment!
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