Keep On, Keeping On?

i used to think the universe was trying to test me

trying to see if I could handle it all

as it continued to pile on more and more 

things

stressors 

and anxiety 

at an incredible rate 

all at the same time. 

but after a lot of “tests” 

and what felt like a lot of defeats 

I realized 

it wasn’t an opportunity to see how much I could handle 

but rather 

an opportunity to see if I could be honest 

about being a feeling human 

in a life that’s sometimes hard. 

and if I could show it

instead of hiding from it 

by being brave enough 

and strong enough 

to fall apart 

and crumble 

when needed. 

and without fail 

when I did that 

when it all finally cracked open

that’s when things got lighter.